we’ll we’ll we’ll if it isn’t autocorrect
George w bush is here and ready to party
me: what’s for dinner?
her: *spreads her legs*
so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it.
Just in case
well, son, i deeply misunderstood your birthday request for COD but we still need to eat all this fish
Out having a pint with a friend when my wife sent me this.
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
imagine an alternate timeline where guns were never invented and swords just kept getting cooler
I’m sorry I had to
Remember the episode of Zoey 101 Chase texted Zoey he loved her and hER FUCKING PHONE FELL INTO THE FOUNTAIN IM STILL MAD
becoming a parent means being the one to get the wasp out of the room and idk if i’m prepared to do that
I’m reading your palm and it says it belongs on my butt
johanna mason literally said “fuck you” to president snow but he’s like “oh shit katniss done made herself a bird”